Hello, beautiful fans.

It is me.


Yes, omg, *squee*. You know, me.

You know how I like to tease Lauri so much sometimes, grabbing him by the hair, kissing him, pressing my crotch against him? Well... I am not actually gay. I know this will be a shock, but no. Me, I am just horny.

Lauri is gay. And Lauri thinks I'm hot.

I first realised this not too terribly long after he joined the band, but I didn't act on it for a while. The first time, I think, was that photoshoot that seems so terribly long ago now. When I was about nineteen and my hair was short and choppy and the photographer had me lay between Lauri and Jay, and I was smoking a cigarette and something wicked crept into my mind and I slid my hand between Lauri's legs just before the picture was taken. You should've seen the look on his face.... Jay later told me that he heard Lauri getting off to me not too long after that.

I was encouraged. So I started teasing him more. Tiny kisses, playful touches... Going up behind him on stage when he looked so deep in concentration, letting him feel it if I had a hard on (as happens to me more often than you would think, when performing) or grinding against him until I did.

I remember that time I went up to him when he was playing his guitar, stole his cigarette, and kissed him. He got so distracted he actually had to look at his fingers so that he did not miss a note. That one was definitely victory on my part.

I love to tease Lauri. Especially when he gets that sexface when he's concentrating on playing his guitar.

Will I ever actually act on it? Well, that remains to be seen. Depends on what he offers me, I think.

And on how much he encourages me. He's never jumped me, you know; but then again I think maybe Lauri is too polite for that.

So I just sometimes hear him moaning at night, or hear from some boy he's fucked that he wants to call him 'Jonne'. That especially amuses me.

Until I find myself against a wall somewhere with his tongue in my mouth, I think I shall decline the offer. I never make the first move; and I never said I was straight you know. I like a bit of both worlds, so to speak. And Lauri is a fine package of a man.

But he can be so thick sometimes, especially when it comes to things that actually require using his brain, like, asking me if I'd be interested in coming to his hotel room.

So that is the reason I have written this. If you should come across said curly-haired bandmate, please tell him to just get it over with and fuck me already. I'd do it myself, but like I said, I never make the first move.

Thanks. I'll be looking forward to it.