Jonne lay next to Lauri, skin flushed in post-coital bliss, snuggling up to his guitarist’s back. God knows, it had been a long time since he had cuddled after sex; most of the sex he’d had recently was with Kristian, and since then, well… it had been a long few months.
God also knows Kristian is not what you could call a ‘cuddler’. He would snuggle if Jonne asked, but only then, and only half-assed. And besides, Kristian was all sharp angles and bones and he was never that comfortable to cuddle with anyway. Lauri was just right, still firm enough to be reassuring and comforting, but soft, at the same time. Soft like his curls, like his skin, even the color of his eyes, which always looked deep with emotion all the time; not like Kristian’s, all sharp and bright and mysteriously blank.
Kristian was always rough on all accounts. Not unpleasant, certainly. Just… different. Though Jonne had never really thought about it until now. In Lauri, he had a protector, a loyal friend, and a passionate lover. In Kristian, he had laughter and wildness and sex and beauty and spontaneity. Kristian was so many more things than Lauri; Jonne was not sure that was a good thing. All of it was too much, because that’s what Kristian was, too much.
Kristian was a chameleon, really. He could change his face and personality to suit the occasion and whatever drug he happened to be on at the time, and that was where the two of them had found their ruin.
Still, Jonne had missed him so badly that for a long time, he had been afraid that he was just using Lauri as a replacement; and accordingly, he had not bedded Lauri until now, even though the sexual tension between them had started to become suffocating, at times – because he didn’t want to treat his friend like that.
That was another thing about Lauri. Sexual tension. He had a way of making Jonne want him. Of making him completely weak in the knees, making his heart feel like it would explode, setting his nerve endings on fire, and finally giving him exquisite release. With Kristian it had always seemed like an animal affair of some kind. Building, building, building, and franticness, and teeth and nails and moaning… Jonne thought it was kindof like jungle cats – loud and fierce and wild. And it had been hot, there was no denying… But he was kindof taking a liking to Lauri’s style, how laid-back and loving and romantic and perfect he was.
Lauri certainly didn’t have the problems Kristian did – or come with the emotional baggage. And if he did, he didn’t bother Jonne with it.
It felt good.
He lit a cigarette – a habit he had picked back up recently, and which only Lauri knew about – and offered the curly haired guitarist one. As he watched, he realized that Lauri and Kristian even smoked differently. Lauri seemed so thoughtful when he smoked – he paused and took his time and enjoyed himself. Kristian, on the other hand, acted as if he were a junkie anxious to shoot up, puffing on the cigarette as quickly as he could until it was gone and sometimes even lighting another one.
That’s how it was; Kris was all impulses and reactions and Lauri was all thoughts and feelings. But as much as it hurt to let go, Jonne was pretty sure that what he was building with Lauri qualified. He’d grieved over Kristian for so long - long before he’d parted ways with the band, to be sure. Because Kristian had a talent for breaking Jonne’s heart.
Lucky for Jonne, Lauri had a talent for healing it.